by Guest Blogger Denise Archie
How many balls are you juggling …………………..and who gets the crumbs? Where is the fun factor?
Do we on a daily basis consider all aspects of our lives? For example, has anyone ever come home from work and their loved ones asks, “Darling what would you like for dinner?”’ and our response is, “I don’t care, don’t ask me!”
Yes, you have used up your decision- making voucher at work and your family gets the crumbs.
How do we ensure that the lovely part of us turns up every day in all that we do and say, and no-one gets the crumbs, especially ourselves?
So how many balls are we juggling on a daily basis?
Some of the “balls” may include family (all members), work relationships, friends, hobbies, social activities, our health and wellbeing, our creativity, and self-expression, finances, career, time management, concern for the environment, concern for humanity, volunteer work and our own personal development.
When we consider all of these aspects of our lives and we put our energy into them, it’s easy to feel that there is not a lot left over. Does this feel familiar to you?
Since I work in the leadership and management space, I often ask the participants about their career track. It is interesting that those who began in a “trade” area and move to management mention that the one thing they really miss is the tools. I then ask them where in their calendar (whether it be once a month or every two months) is time allocated for you to spend time with the team on the job. – Is this an example of settling for the crumbs.
Do we need to settle for crumbs in our relationships? Who has trained you to leave them alone?
Do you ever feel like you never have a “win” in a particular relationship?
One of the lessons I learned very early in my own personal development was to use a strategy that my children played which was “guess the person who I have on my head?”
If I was to ask you to think of someone that you get on really well with– what would the label be above their heads. ……. Friend, confidant, someone you can trust?
If I was to ask you to think of someone that you don’t get on so well with– what would the label be above their heads? ….yes that one!
What I realised was that when we meet someone, we all have a label that we place on their heads (whether consciously or unconsciously) and that is how we speak to them.
Let me share a story:
A friend of mine had a very important meeting to attend. On a scale of 1 – 10 of excitement, his was about minus 100. I asked him, “What was the label he saw or had a sense of above this person’s head?”
His response was far from complimentary.
I asked if he could consider changing the label and see a “lovely lady” – his response was, “She is no lady.” I asked if he could see a lovely lady – we laughed. He went off to his meeting and rang me once it was over. I asked how the meeting went and he said it went surprisingly well. I asked him what label did he see above her head and he said “lady.” That was a big step up for him.
So let me ask you – what labels do you have above the heads of your colleagues and/ or some family members?
Would a change in the label result in a change in your tone of voice and responses to their conversation, and stop” the crumbs” from being in this relationship?
So what are you going to do to stop accepting crumbs in any part of your life? What is one action you can take right here right now?
About Denise Archie
Denise is an entrepreneur and is recognized as a ‘pioneer’ in the area of vocational education and training, coaching and mentoring, and elearning. Over the last 20 years, Denise has founded and built several businesses, including one of the first in Australia in online learning. (Imagine during 1998 explaining to potential clients how online learning works, and could change the way training was delivered – she was viewed with much scepticism – read ‘as though she had two heads!’)
Denise is recognized as a leader and one of Australia’s experts in her field of learning, development and innovation. During this time Denise has worked successfully with over 40,000 people, from many blue chip companies across Australia and New Zealand. She has conducted workshops, and as a professional coach and mentor, has created powerful transformational results both personally and professionally for her clients, allowing empowering life changes to occur.
You can read more about Denise at http://www.coachingcollege.com.au/